Home Before Morning Essay, Research Paper
The Vietnam conflict was one of the harshest, most savage wars in the
history of the world. It was also the only time in military history that the
United States was unsuccessful in defeating the enemy. Beginning in 1964,
U.S. involvement in Vietnam came as the result of a perceived threat of
communism. At the time, Northern Vietnam possessed a dictatorial
communist form of government similar to that of the Soviet Union. As a
result, according to the United States government, it posed a grave danger to
the preservation of democracy and peace in both Vietnam and throughout
the world. By siding with Southern Vietnamese forces the United States
began a battle which would last over nineteen years, cost the nation over
$140 billion, and claim the lives of fifty-eight thousand Americans. And
although these figures are staggering, the greatest affects of the war are far
less tangible. For with every soldier who died in Vietnam, there are
countless others who survived only to have their lives forever scarred by its
trauma. Lynda Van Devanter was one of these people. Serving as a nurse in
Vietnam, Lynda was stripped of her youth, her patriotism, and her
innocence.
Growing up in the small, suburban neighborhood of Washington DC
Lynda Van Devanter was the epitome of the all-American girl. She had lived
in the same neighborhood all her life, grew up in a house her father had
built, and played softball with her friends at the park. She was a very
religious girl, and went to the Holy Trinity High School in Washington, later
moving on to Mercy Hospital School of Nursing. Overall, Lynda had had a
good upbringing, and a good childhood. However, entering Vietnam Lynda
quickly realized that she would have to mature quickly if she were going to
survive the war. Looking at comrades such as Coretta, Lynda said ?I
thought of myself as a girl, (but) there was no question in my mind that
Coretta was a woman.? The severity of Vietnam had brought about a
maturity in all the women stationed there. And it was only a matter of time
until its grip would reach Lynda. The day to day tasks quickly took there toll
on Lynda, and she could feel herself maturing at an accelerated rate. After a
severe day of operations Lynda said ?I felt like an old woman.? She was no
longer little Lynda from Edison Street, but a nurse in the United States
Army, working in muddy, dirty conditions, and operating on soldiers ripped
apart by mines or rockets. Dealing with a constant onslaught of bleeding,
dying men in Vietnam, Lynda Van Devanter had no choice but to grow up,
and grow up quickly.
Besides her innocence, another major loss of Lynda?s life was her loss
of patriotism. Entering the war Lynda was proud to be an American, and
proud of all that her country had accomplished. During the United States
moon landing, for example, Lynda wrote her family describing her immense
patriotic feelings, saying ?The pride in our country filled many of us to the
point that we had tears in our eyes.? Even when talking to disillusioned
soldiers, who would criticize their country and their involvement, Lynda
would always back her country and respect their intentions to ?preserve
democracy?. However after time, even Lynda began to doubt her c
standing. Day after day of seeing innocent people dying began to have its
affect, and soon Lynda began to question whether all the lives were worth it.
?I remained proud to be an American…but as each new soldier came in
covered in mud, blood, and his own guts I moved a bit further from my
original position. It all seemed senseless.? Finally, after returning home from
the war, any glimmer of patriotism left inside Lynda Van Devanter was
stripped away by unappreciative Americans. Trying to catch a ride home
from the airport in San Francisco Lynda was taunted, given the finger, and
spit on by her fellow countrymen simply for wearing an American uniform.
Lynda had finally realized she was no longer proud to be an American from
Vietnam.
Apart from her youth and her patriotism, perhaps the greatest loss to
Lynda?s life through her time in Vietnam was her loss of innocence. Lynda
first began to experience this loss of innocence in training camp. In an
attempt to develop Lynda and her fellow trainees into fit and able members
of the U.S. military, training sergeants conditioned them by calling them
anything from maggots to scum. Even marching songs were raunchy. They
were used to try and harden Vietnam entrees, but Lynda began to feel that
?…they were trying to change our gender.? Later in Vietnam, Lynda again
began to feel her innocence fading. The harshness of the war began to force
her to do things that she never would have before. During a rocket attack by
the V.C. Lynda
became trapped in a ditch by the enemy fire, and as a result was forced to
relieve herself in the mud in front of two men. She also began noticing
herself doing things such as drinking heavily and smoking marijuana in
order to cope with the war, two things she would never have done back
home. Finally, perhaps the greatest mark of her loss of innocence was in the
way she treated her relationships. Before entering Vietnam, Lynda had only
slept with one man, J.J., and to her the experience was very special, and
something to be cherished. However upon returning home from the war,
Lynda found herself beginning to go to sleazy bars and sleep with numerous
strangers in an attempt to feel loved. Her entire approach to relationships,
and the innocence she had once felt, was gone forever.
The Vietnam war was one of the longest, most controversial wars in
United States history. To this day many question both our nation?s
involvement, and the governments merit for entering such a brutal conflict.
However with all these questions of the Vietnam war there is one thing that
seems to remain clear – to those who served in Vietnam, the war would leave
a lasting impact on their lives that would endure forever. Lynda Van
Devanter entered the war to be feel free and to see the world. What she
found was that her service would prove to be some of the harshest, most
brutal experiences of her life. Returning in June of 1970, Lynda had made it
home before morning. But it was no longer the Lynda that her family had
once known.
The Vietnam war had robbed her of her youth, taken away her patriotism,
and stripped away any innocence which she might have once possessed.
After serving in Vietnam Lynda Van Devanter would never again be the
same.