“I Stand Here Ironing” Essay, Research Paper
The mother-daughter relationship in “I Stand Here Ironing”
To many people, the ideal mother-daughter relationship
is not like the one we find in this short story. In this
case, however, its not being an ideal relationship is not
the fault of the mother or daughter. Through her own
relative thoughts, the mother illustrates the circumstances
of the relationship that evolved with her daughter. Despite
the mother’s self incriminating thoughts, the dents in the
mold of their mother-daughter relationship were made by the
tough circumstances in their lives.
From the beginning we hear the mother’s self
inculpating thoughts of all she ”did or did not do.” Emily
is born into an unfortunate surrounding and, at the early
age of eight months, her mother must leave her in the care
of a woman whom Emily doesn’t favor. The mother blames
herself for her daughter’s unhappiness and yet unknowingly
justifies her actions with the immense love that she has for
her. She recognizes that she was not able to be with her
daughter at a time when young children want to cling to
their mothers the most. But what else could she do? As she
states, this was a time of the “pre-relief, pre-WPA world of
the depression(152).” When she was away from Emily, she was
working for her. She even found a job at night so she could
be with Emily during the days. The mother was doing her
best to work around the circumstances with Emily’s best
interest in mind, even at the cost of a slight dent in their
own relationship by her being away from Emily so much.
At another crucial stage in Emily’s life, when the
second baby is born, she is kept away from both her mother
and the new baby. With the obvious immense attention that
is required to the newborn, it is important for Emily to be
reassured of her mot
replacement and jealousy. This time the separation of
mother and daughter is caused by the measles, an occurrence
in life that no one can prevent. Still, the mother torments
herself on the thoughts that she only went to sit with Emily
twice. Granted that twice was not very much, the more she
came in contact with Emily, the greater risk of endangering
the life of Emily’s sibling. Here is when Emily begins to
slowly adjust to the absence of her mothers physical
affection.
When Emily is sent away to a convalescent home in the
country so she can have the “‘kind of food and care(154)’”
her mother cannot provide for her, her adjustment to the
absence of physical warmth from her mother is finalized.
Emily and her mother write letters to each other every other
day and on sundays are able to see each other. But, there
is never any sort of touching. Because of the strict rules
of this place where she is at, Emily is subjected to conform
with the letters and weekly visits from her mother as the
only form of nurture from her mother. By the time the
mother is able to be close to her daughter again, she isn’t
accepted with open arms. She rushes to Emily’s bedside at
any slight sound of restlessness coming from there. Instead
of accepting her mothers nurturing, Emily coldly
responds,”’I’m all right, go back to sleep, Mother(154)’”.
It is too late. Emily no longer yearns for the touch or
comfort of her mother. Another dent has been made in their
relationship by a difficult circumstance in life of which
they have to deal with.
Aside the mothers condemning thoughts, Emily’s
relationship with her evolved into a rather cold, yet not
distant one, as a result of these incidents. Although the
presence and touch was not always there in their
relationship, communication clearly was.