ORDINARY PEOPLE; Movie Essay, Research Paper
In the film “ORDINARY PEOPLE” the complex relationship
types between the main character Conrad his parents and
psychiatrist not only portrays an example of a disfunctional
family but also conceals the in depth message of the
different elements that makes up a relationship. Although
the relationship examples of this film varies by type, but
these relationship all share the common elements such as the
level of trust, intimacy, attitude of verbal and non verbal
communications towards each other, which allows the audience
to determine the cause and effect of these different
elements in action in each of these different case.
Husbad and Wife
The relationship between the husband and wife seems
initially to be perfect. They both show each other
expressions of love. There is understanding, harmony,
financial security, and good communication between them.
The couple spends a lot of time together, discussing future
plans, and talking about the good moments they had in the
past. However, behind all of this positive interaction
between the two of them is something they are both not able
to face. The tragic loss of their son, Buck has caused a
great amount of pain and anger they are not expressing.
We can ask ourselves, is this really what these two
people were showing us? Is their relationship so perfect as
it appears in the beginning, or is there some deep dark
secret yet to be uncovered. The couple was an example of a
disfunctional family. True and honest communication among
the family members did not exist. The aspect of expressing
their real feelings never happened. The pain and sadness
they felt never came to the surface, even with the passing
of time.
The wife lived in denial, trying to live the life of a
perfect person unaffected by what had happened to her son
Buck. A certain image had to be upheld and everything else
was secondary. Even the love for her husband was not as
perfect as it was shown..She tries to keep these feelings
and memories of her lost son buried deep inside her. She
finds it very difficult to show any emotion concerning the
fact that one of her sons is never coming back. She tried
to portray an image of things being just perfect. The
reality was very different however.
After seeing a Psychiatrist, the husband started to
realize something was wrong, then began to question the
soundness of their relationship One of the saddest moments
for him was his son’s funeral. The husband remembered when
his wife forced him to change into a white shirt from a blue
one he had first chosen. The color of the shirt was not so
important at the time but that showed there was something
more serious happening with her. This aspect of the film
showed the huaband that she did not care very much for her
other son Conrad. Which caused him to realized the truth of
the imperfections in thier relationship to a bitter
seperation..
Conrad and his Father
Conrad and his father, Calvin, had a very good and
strong trusting relationship.
Although Conrad was stubborn and didn’t want to speak of his
troubles, Calvin would keep trying and didn’t give up.
Calvin really cared for Conrad and wanted him to share his
feelings and emotions. For example, there were times when
Calvin would walk into Conrad’s room just to make sure he
was doing fine. Calvin not only showed his affections
nonverbally, he showed them verbally also. He wanted to see
his son back to life, back to who he was. When Conrad
finally decided to see the psychiatrist, Calvin was more
than glad to hear about it and to pay for the expenses.
Basically, what Conrad wanted, Calvin would give.
Their father and son relationship was difficult at
times because of all that happened in the past. However, to
make their relationship ongoing and as strong as possible,
Calvin would do anything for Conrad’s happiness. One of
Calvin’s biggest goal was to see Conrad enjoy his life.
Something as little as a smile or a conversation from Conrad
would make Calvin happy. Although their relationship had
nonverbal communications or silence at times, their feelings
were strong for one another and they knew that they could
count on each other. For instance, when Conrad covered his
head with a pillow crying, Calvin knew that talking would
not solve anything. Instead, Calvin would leave him alone
and talk to Conrad when Conrad felt like talking. They had
a common understanding for each other, and although there
was silen
respect what Conrad was going through. Their relationship
was built slowly, and became a very strong and unbreakable
bond.
Conrad and Dr. Burger
Conrad and Dr. Burger had a great relationship. Their
relationship surpassed whatever relationship he had with his
mom and maybe even the relationship with his dad. In the
beginning, Conrad was very reluctant in seeing Dr. Burger.
He was very nervous and uneasy at the thought of talking
about his feelings and thoughts with a total stranger.
During Conrad?s first session with Dr. Burger, he was very
uncomfortable and unresponsive. Conrad was very tense. The
answers he gave were very brief and blunt. Conrad wanted to
leave right away. It was like Dr. Burger had to keep
pushing Conrad just to talk and all Conrad had on his mind
was leaving the office as soon as possible. After a couple
of more sessions with Dr. Burger, Conrad became more
comfortable with his presence. Conrad started to learn to
open up, and he didn?t have a hard time telling Dr. Burger
anything. Trust between these two started to form, but it
was a slow process. Once trust was established, Conrad
spoke freely about his feelings and his thoughts. His
responses to Dr. Burger were longer and went into more
detail. Conrad looked very relaxed and at ease with him.
Dr. Burger didn?t need to push Conrad to open up because he
did it himself. Conrad started to listen to what Dr. Burger
said to him. Dr. Burger helped Conrad release some of his
anger and frustrations about his family and friends by just
being there to listen to him. No matter how Conrad spoke or
acted, Dr. Burger was there for him. Dr. Burger was the
only one Conrad really trusted. Conrad didn?t realize that
till his friend died. Dr. Burger was the first person
Conrad called to talk about it, and Dr. Burger didn?t even
hesitate to aid his problems. Conrad knew he found a friend
in Dr. Burger, and that Dr. Burger was a true friend.
Conrad And Mom
Conrad a very intelligent, deep thought, serious
person; suffering from major depression resulting from
Buck’s fatal accident: Conrad blames himself for
everybody’s problem and thus carrie false guilt….he felt
guilty for Buck’s death because Buck let go of the boat and
Conrad did not; he felt responsible his mother’s cold
behavior towards him. And initially felt guilt for Karen’s
suicide.
Mother: she is very articulate with the falacy of
perfection; she does not discuss major issues at hand..She
would rather pretend everything is fine and move on with
life..She wants to portray to the world that she has a
perfect family, and they can handle any problems that occurr
within the family…however, when the family wants to talk
about the death of Buck, she somehow changes the subject.
Relationship between Conrad and Mother: Their
relationship is very distant; the only time they coverse
with one another, to discuss the things that Conrad has
done, such as swimming, school work etc., each time the
conversation between them would start to go a little deeper,
mother would leave the room. It appeared that mother
resented Conrad in many ways; I think she blamed him for
Buck’s death, and I think she resented him because he
survived and Buck did not…she obviously favored Buck over
Conrad…Also, I believe mother resented Conrad because he
tried to kill himself and was hospitalized…Not only did
this make the family look bad, but it also brought up the
grief of Buck’s death…The mother is a major controller and
when things do not go her way, she pretends they do not
exist and leaves the room. Mother did not give Conrad any
affection at all; when grandmother wanted to take picture
with Conrad and mother alone; mother became very disturb and
was very hesitant to stand next to Conrad. However, when
she had taken pictures with everyone else in the family, she
was very pleasant…Once in the movie Conrad hugged his
mother, but she did not respond. I believe this was
Conrad’s way of bringing the relationship back together
again. I believe mother was also very jealous of her
husband’s love and concern for Conrad. She was always
trying to get her gusband to go away on vacation, again to
run from the family’s problems…Conrad’s and mother’s
relationship was very distant, they could not connect with
one another, even though Conrad did attempt to connect with
his mother, but she would not permit it…It as if she just
wanted Conrad out of the picture, because he was making her